Introduction 7-Card Ball is an amazing combination of poker and billiards invented by Worldwide Champion (and former pool shark!) Bill Fillmaff. Only real men can handle this game, so if you're a wimp or a female... don't bother! If you want to see 7-Card Ball in action, see Chapter 3 of Bill Fillmaff's Secret System. Rules 7-Card Ball requires two sets of balls to play properly. And we mean two sets of balls in your sack, and two sets of balls for the table! Here's the list of balls you'll need and what their respective poker card values are:
Here's a picture of how to properly rack your balls for 7-Card Ball:  Note that the striped balls are placed near the back and a red ball is always used as the "gap" ball, placed behind the 8-ball. You will need both a 9-ball rack and a standard rack to do this, so scrounge up your welfare money. Objective & Scoring The object of 7-Card Ball is to sink seven balls and use five of those balls to create your best five-card poker hand. The 8-ball is "wild," meaning you can place whatever number value on this ball that you wish if you sink it. There are there are no flushes in 7-Card Ball for obvious reasons, twit. Here's the hand rankings, from highest to lowest:
Gameplay Like regular pool, one player starts the game with a break shot or whatever. Whoever can scream the loudest gets to break. Each player attempts to pocket seven balls. Once they've pocketed a ball, they must retrieve the ball from the pocket and verbally announce their card/ball. Pocketing multiple balls on the same turn is allowed. Once the player fails to pocket a ball, the opposing player takes his turn. Players must hold on to their pocketed balls at all times. This is called "holding on to your balls." You cannot take a shot unless you are holding all your previously pocketed balls somewhere on your person. Some people play 7-Card Ball "freeball" style, where this rule is not required and pocketed balls are instead placed on a nearby golden pedestal. After a player has lost their turn, they have the option to "bet" by placing a stack of poker chips anywhere on the table in an attempt to impede their opponent's progress or block off balls they don't want pocketed. There is no penalty if you knock over a stack of chips. Again, some people play 7-Card Ball without this rule. These people are called "pansy puss-puckers." If a player hits the cue ball off the table, he gets a do-over. If he knocks a regular ball of the table, he must bounce it off the ceiling back on to the table. If you're playing outdoors, you must throw the ball back on to the table from a distance of at least ten feet. End Game Play continues until each player has pocketed their seven balls or until one player has "scratched" (pocketed the cue ball). If a player scratches, they fold their hand and automatically lose. The player with the best five-card poker hand wins the game and gets to go home and pop it to the loser's wife, girlfriend, or mother. Hopefully these are separate people!
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