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We recently had the opportunity to sit down with Bill Fillmaff and ask him a few questions:

Question: Who is Bill Fillmaff?

Bill Fillmaff: (laughs) Yeah, like you don't already know who I am. Bill Fillmaff is in no uncertain terms, indisputably the best all-around poker player who will ever play on Earth. I'm a Worldwide Poker Champion.
Q: Yes, you won the 1998 Worldwide Poker League Championship...
Fillmaff: That's right. And I won it with my signature hand: king-jack not suited.

Q: ...but critics of yours say that your championship doesn't really mean anything since it was done years ago against a relatively small field when compared to today's tournaments. Plus, the Worldwide Poker League only existed from 1996 to 1999. And 1998 was a strike year, so most of the players in the league were replacements and...

Fillmaff: What exactly are you trying to say, son? Once you're a Worldwide Champion, that can't be taken away from you. I have proven again and again that I'm the best all-around poker player there is to the point that nobody even comes forward to dispute this anymore. That means I'm UNDISPUTED the best.
Q: Then why haven't you participated in any World Poker Tour events or played any World Series of Poker events since 1997?
Fillmaff: First of all, I don't go on this "World Poker Tour" because it's too commercial. I don't think it's right for the WPT to be making so much money off poker when people like Bill Fillmaff built the sport -- and poker IS a sport, by the way -- into what it is today.

I don't play in the World Series of Poker because I was cheated there in 1997 and I'm really glad that "Tilt" [the ESPN poker drama] is showing how rigged the WSOP really is. I got cheated at the WSOP and the only way Bill Fillmaff loses is if there is cheating or really bad beats involved. So I'm not going to play an event I have no chance of winning because of cheating and bad beats. Besides, I'm too busy making money on Internet poker, that kind of stuff [the WSOP] isn't worth my time.
Q: Yes, you claim to have made 6 million off Internet poker?
Fillmaff: (laughs) Try 6 million in 2004 alone there, kid.
Q: That seems a little hard to believe... how did you do that without winning any of the major online tournaments?
Fillmaff: Oh, I won them, but I won them under aliases. I have 6 million in virtual money in my account.
Q: Virtual money? What, you mean play money?
Fillmaff: All money online in Internet is virtual money because it isn't made of paper, stupid. And I have 6 million of it. I'm really sorry if you're having trouble comprehending the kind of stakes I play, but that's why I'm being interviewed and why you're sitting there with your cheap little tape recorder asking the questions. And frankly I don't have time for any more of this [expletive]. I have Fillmaff Brand poker chips to sell. One more question and I'm [expletive] gone.
Q: OK, what are your thoughts regarding 2004 Player of the Year Danny... Ne... Nagreeno?
Fillmaff: (pauses) I don't like to talk bad about people beneath me, but I consider myself to be the Anti-Danny Nagreeno. I believe poker should be taken seriously. This is not something you do for fun. This is not something you approach with joy. The correct way to play poker is to be very sullen. And serious. That guy is just a jolly-time goofball. Who does he think he is, Santa Claus?!

When Bill Fillmaff loses -- and I always lose to a bad beat -- I don't smile and walk away. I tell that other person what they did wrong. And I make damn well sure it never happens again. I don't agree with anything Danny stands for, like I said, I'm the Anti-Nagreeno.
Q: Are you also the "Anti-Danny Nagreeno" because you're a huge jerk who loses all the time?
Fillmaff: [expletive] you, you skinny [multiple expletives].

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